Navigating the back-to-school season can be challenging for any parent, but as a recently divorced parent, it can feel particularly overwhelming. Balancing new routines, emotions, and responsibilities requires a thoughtful approach to ensure a smooth transition for both you and your child. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey—many parents have walked this path and found ways to thrive. Here are seven tips to help you and your child start the school year on the right foot.
It takes time to adjust to any change in your life. For recently divorced parents it can be especially challenging to get used to your new parenting plan. When your child starts school and they have a new schedule both parents need to understand what this schedule looks like so they can plan accordingly. It’s difficult for an entire family to keep up with everything that happens during the school year.
Sharing your child’s schedule ahead of time will enable parents to plan for after-school activities, as well as the items and transportation required for them. This will also allow both parents to be aware of important events such as conferences, exams, report cards, permission slips, and other pertinent information. Not only will this allow for an easier adjustment for both parents but it will provide a smoother transition to the school year for your child as everyone will be on the same page.
Before the start of the new school year, it is important to notify your child’s new teachers of your family situation. Teachers should be made aware of the family dynamic, and the custody arrangement you have in place, and to be on the lookout for any emotional impacts they might witness in your child. You can also take this time to make sure that both parents are added to any mailing lists for school newsletters, updates, fundraisers, and field trips. Teachers will accommodate separate parent-teacher conferences if they are requested. It is in the best interest of the child that both parents set aside their differences for the sake of the child in addition to the meeting, but if that is not possible, they should hold two meetings. You should require two copies of any paperwork like forms, report cards, and letters that are sent home.
Getting ready for a new school year is surely going to bring additional stress to an already tense situation. The best way to get through this is not to put the entire burden on yourself. Get your child involved in their packing, explaining what they will need for school and why. Your child may have items they need to bring that you don’t have or forgot about, like a certain type of pencil or a certain type of backpack. This is the best way to avoid last-minute shopping sprees and keep your costs down. You should separate the list of required school supplies with your ex to minimize the amount you need to purchase.
Prior to the beginning of school, getting back into a normal school routine and schedule is beneficial for everyone. This includes setting a school-appropriate bed, including shower/bath times, and keeping a more regular meal schedule than the less structured schedules summer can bring. Getting your child into a routine before school begins will lessen the impact of the change the school year brings and will make for a much easier and less stressful transition for all.
Before the beginning of the school year, prepare with your children a strategy for how to respond to queries about your separation or divorce. Tell them that they may be faced with some questions from curious schoolmates and that it is okay to politely decline to answer any questions that make them uncomfortable. Discuss how to politely rebuff overly personal inquiries as well as what to reveal to their friends and acquaintances. It can even be helpful to roleplay so they are comfortable with how to respond to potential questions.
Children usually require about a year to adjust to their parent’s divorce. This does not mean that they are no longer feeling sad or angry, but rather, by the end of the first year after the divorce, they should cope adequately with these emotions. It is important to be empathetic and understand this is a difficult transition period for them as well. You should allow them time to deal with their feelings and try not to panic or overreact if they get a bad grade or into some trouble at school. This could be completely unrelated to your divorce or a natural part of the adjustment your child is making. Unless you notice a pattern of severe adjustment issues you should allow your children time to come to terms and adjust to their new situation.
It can be difficult to find time to enjoy fun family activities with your kids once the school year begins. As such, take some time at the end of the summer to plan one last family event together to show your kids that summer is still a carefree time that they can enjoy with you. Whether you plan a weekend getaway or a day trip it is important to plan something you can all enjoy and take advantage of your time with them while they are on summer vacation.
Modern Family Law’s team of experienced family lawyers takes a compassionate approach to the practice of family law. Using innovative technology to create an effective and efficient process for our clientele, our attorneys approach each case as a collective effort to find the best long-term solutions for each family. We understand the financial burden a divorce can have on an individual. As such we have created our industry-first SimpleStart™ program, providing people a chance to reduce the amount of money needed upfront to start their case. For more information please give us a call or fill out a short form online to sign up for a free consultation today! Let us make a positive difference in your life.
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