Nothing is fun about going through a divorce during the holidays. Ruined plans, the division of family events, and fighting can ruin just about any ounce of yuletide cheer you had left in you. Holidays are supposed to be about family, but they are also about loving yourself. Your mindset will take you places; either upward or downward when going through a divorce.
The process of recovering from a divorce can start very simply, with a concerned phone call, a heart-to-heart conversation, or even through reading a blog or journal entry online. That being said, you can start feeling better right now.
You don’t need a reason to start being happy. Being happy can be as easy as going out and having a conversation with a friend, and spreading positive energy. Positive energy is going to be your strongest ally during times of struggle and divorce. You can create positive energy in many ways. Find a friend and buy them dinner, or better yet, let them buy you dinner. Do something enjoyable—it may be hard to hear, but staying in solitude and dwelling on self-pity or sadness is destructive and needs to stop. You control your destiny; don’t let divorce and custody disputes ruin your mindset.
Some change can be a good thing. Don’t be afraid to try new things this season that may not stick with your past traditions. Create new memories; don’t focus on things that will bring back the memories of a failed relationship.
It’s important to focus on your priorities. Maybe you have less money or have had to move. This is understandable and the circumstances need to be accepted as such. Even though divorce is hard, it can be a positive transition for some families—especially those recovering from abuse. Enjoy the peace of the holidays and respect yourself for having the focus and conviction to go through the difficult process of ending things.
The holidays can be about gifts, especially in times of great joy. However, the holidays aren’t always about that. Focus on the love and respect of the holidays. Be there for the rest of your friends and families.
Some people may struggle with losing family and friends. Don’t be afraid to extend yourself this holiday season and show kindness to someone; you just might gain new friends and a whole new outlook on life.
Give the gifts a rest. Don’t add a stressful burden to your already stressful winter. Do things that make you happy. Bake cookies, write cards and make gifts that come from the heart. The completed products will be rewarding and produce much-needed feelings of joy.
Recovering from a divorce is just as important for you as it is for the rest of your family and friends. Learn to love yourself after the pain of separation, and the results will become self-evident. Give up on stressing over the past—you can’t return to it. Move on, be positive, return the care of those around you, and please try your hardest to ignore stressors.
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