Voices Of Strength: Jennifer Gardella On Domestic Violence

Jennifer: Sure, I escaped domestic violence on April 4th of 2020, just as the start of the scary pandemic lockdown—the first big lockdown. My daughters and I wound up escaping to a very safe location in Pittsburgh. We lived in the Philadelphia area, and one of my daughters was attending the University of Pittsburgh. Her apartment was empty because of COVID, so it was the perfect place for us to go.

And I then walked into my advocacy work by accident. I started talking about my journey because I was confused and overwhelmed. And then one day, I was introduced to a local domestic violence agency. I went through their training, and that was my entry point into direct advocacy work. From there, I started to combine my background in research and education with my lived experience, and it became my full-time mission to educate and support both survivors and those who can help them.

Jennifer: Absolutely. One of the biggest misconceptions is that domestic violence is only physical. Many people assume that if there are no bruises, then there is no abuse. But abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial, and digital. It can also be legal—abusers use the court system to manipulate and control their victims. And sometimes, it is all of the above.

Another misconception is that leaving is the hardest part. While leaving is difficult and dangerous, many survivors struggle the most after they have left—when they are navigating the legal system, finding housing, rebuilding their finances, and protecting their children. That is why it is so important for legal professionals to understand the full scope of what survivors go through.

Jennifer: First and foremost, attorneys need to believe survivors. It sounds simple, but so many survivors feel like they have to prove their abuse over and over again, even when they have clear evidence. Attorneys should also be trauma-informed—understanding how trauma impacts a person’s ability to tell their story and make decisions.

It is also crucial for attorneys to recognize the tactics of abusers. Abusers often try to use the legal system as a weapon—filing frivolous motions, dragging out court cases, and manipulating custody agreements to maintain control over their victims. Attorneys need to be prepared for these tactics and help their clients navigate them.

Jennifer: That is such an important issue. Financial abuse is one of the most effective ways an abuser keeps control over a victim. Survivors are often left without access to money, bank accounts, or even job opportunities. The first step is to recognize that financial abuse is real and intentional.

I always encourage survivors to start by gathering important financial documents and setting aside small amounts of money if they can. There are also organizations that provide financial assistance and career resources for survivors. Finding a trusted friend, advocate, or professional who can help create a financial safety plan is crucial. Survivors should know that there are ways to rebuild financial independence, and they do not have to do it alone.

Jennifer: The first thing I would say is that their fear is valid. Leaving an abuser is one of the most dangerous times for a survivor. I always encourage survivors to work with a domestic violence advocate who can help them create a safety plan. Many domestic violence organizations have legal advocates who can help survivors understand their options, file protection orders, and connect with attorneys who specialize in domestic violence cases.

I would also remind survivors that they do not have to go through this alone. There are resources, there are people who care, and there are steps they can take to protect themselves while seeking justice.

Jennifer: Absolutely. For survivors, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is an excellent first step. They provide confidential support, safety planning, and connections to local resources. Local domestic violence shelters and advocacy organizations also offer legal aid, housing assistance, and emotional support.

For those looking to help, educating yourself is key. Organizations like the National Network to End Domestic Violence and local coalitions provide training and volunteer opportunities. If you suspect someone is in an abusive situation, listening without judgment and offering to connect them with professional resources can be life-changing.

Caroline: That is really valuable information. As we wrap up, what is one message you would like to share with survivors who may be listening to this interview?

Jennifer: You are not alone. There are people who believe you and want to support you. I know it may feel overwhelming, but you do not have to go through this alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, a local domestic violence organization, or a legal advocate. There is hope, and there is a path forward.

Caroline: That is such a powerful message. Thank you so much, Jennifer, for sharing your expertise and your story with us today. How can people connect with you if they want to learn more?

Jennifer: Thank you, Caroline. People can visit my website at jennifergardella.com, where they will find resources and ways to reach out. I am also on LinkedIn and social media, and I am always happy to connect and help however I can.

Caroline: Fantastic. Thank you again, Jennifer. This has been such an insightful conversation.