Navigating Divorce Grief: Expert Insights From Crystal Givens

Divorce is more than a legal process—it’s an emotional journey filled with complex layers of loss. Unlike other forms of grief, divorce often means mourning the loss of dreams, security, and identity while still interacting with your former partner. To help individuals better understand and navigate these challenges, Modern Family Law’s Marketing Communications Manager, Caroline Germano, spoke with Crystal Givens, an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist and founder of Ebb & Flow COS.

Crystal shares her personal journey into grief recovery, professional expertise, and compassionate advice for those navigating grief during or after divorce.

Understanding Divorce Grief

Divorce grief is unique because it isn’t just about losing a relationship—it’s about losing an entire shared life.

“Divorce grief is unique because, while it’s an ending, it also involves an ongoing relationship, especially if there are children or shared responsibilities. The loss isn’t just of a partner, but of an entire shared life,” Crystal explains.

Many people are surprised to find that grief can appear even when they initiate the divorce or feel relief. They may still mourn the loss of future plans, financial stability, or the comfort of the familiar. This can lead to conflicting emotions—relief mixed with guilt, anger, or regret.

Crystal notes that common emotional challenges during divorce include:

• Betrayal, guilt, or shame over what went wrong.

• Anger directed at an ex-spouse, themselves, or the legal process.

• Confusion over how to move forward while still connected to the past.

Acknowledging this range of emotions is essential to healing.

Healing & Moving Forward

One of the biggest barriers to recovery is unresolved grief. Crystal explains that when grief is left unaddressed, it can hold people back:

“Unresolved grief keeps people emotionally tied to the past, making it difficult to envision a new future. It can manifest as fear of the unknown, difficulty trusting again, or being stuck in old patterns that no longer serve them.”

This often shows up as trouble making decisions, repeating unhealthy relationship dynamics, or struggling to trust. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.

Divorce also shakes personal identity. Many people ask themselves, “Who am I outside of this marriage?” Crystal encourages self-reflection and rediscovery:

“You might feel like you’ve lost the person you were in the relationship, but that person can be rediscovered and even strengthened through healing.”

Signs that someone may benefit from structured grief support include:

• Persistent sadness or anger

• Feeling “stuck” emotionally

• Difficulty envisioning a future

The Grief Recovery Method®, which Crystal specializes in, offers practical tools to release long-held pain and create space for healing.

Divorce Parenting & Co-Parenting Challenges

For parents, grief often centers on the loss of family structure and the challenge of supporting children while processing their own emotions. Crystal works with parents to help them process their grief and guide their children through theirs.

“Children may not have the tools to express grief, so it can come out as confusion, fear, or anger. By working with parents, I ensure they can guide their children in a safe, nurturing way.”

Unaddressed grief can also complicate co-parenting. When emotions like resentment or sadness go unchecked, they can cloud judgment and fuel conflict. Healing, on the other hand, allows parents to make decisions based on their children’s best interests.

Crystal also highlights the presence of anticipatory grief, the anxiety and uncertainty people feel before divorce is finalized. By focusing on what can be controlled, such as emotional boundaries and self-care, individuals can better manage the uncertainty.

The Role Of Professional Support

Divorce is both a legal and an emotional process. Crystal emphasizes the importance of combining the support of attorneys with the care of mental health professionals:

“Attorneys focus on the legal process. Mental health professionals help clients with the emotional toll. The integration of both reduces stress and creates a smoother, more supportive experience.

Family law professionals can help by:

• Recognizing when grief is influencing decision-making.

• Referring clients to grief counseling.

• Offering empathy alongside legal guidance.

This collaboration helps clients feel supported as whole people, not just as legal cases.

Conclusion: Rebuilding With Clarity and Hope

Divorce is one of life’s most challenging transitions. It is both an ending and a beginning, carrying grief, uncertainty, and opportunities for growth. As Crystal Givens reminds us, healing is not about “getting over it,” it’s about releasing pain, rediscovering yourself, and moving forward with confidence.

“Divorce is not only the end of a relationship but also the beginning of a new, unknown chapter. It’s okay to feel lost, unsure, or afraid. Focus on your emotional well-being and take it one step at a time.”

If you’re struggling with divorce-related grief, know that healing is possible. Support from grief recovery specialists like Crystal can help you process the pain, rebuild your identity, and create a life filled with peace and hope.