Divorce is never easy and it takes a toll on everyone involved. However, several studies have discovered that men tend to have a harder time coping with the aftermath of divorce than women do. There are many reasons for this including the fact that women are more likely than men to build a support network of friends and family to assist them during this difficult time and to seek professional help. Here are 5 reasons why men have a harder time coping with divorce than women do.
After a divorce women usually take time to mourn the end of their marriage and come to terms with what it means prior to starting their new life. In many instances, men skip this period of post-marriage mourning and prefer to bottle up the emotions they are feeling and quickly try to move on. In the long run, this often leads to anxiety and depression for men as they don’t take time to process the deeply emotional changes they are facing or prepare themselves for life without their ex-spouse.
While married, being a husband or wife is a large part of spouses’ identities. Marriage status is one of the most important determinants of self-identification and how others perceive you. When men divorce, they no longer consider themselves half of a partnership. On the other hand, women tend to diversify their activities and join groups following a divorce thus building a new identity through different partnerships. Women may create new social connections postdivorce by joining groups. Men do not participate in new activities as frequently as women after a marriage ends and in turn struggle with knowing who they are.
A divorce can cause serious health problems for men. Weight fluctuations, depression, anxiety, and insomnia are the most frequent health issues men face after going through a divorce. Struggling with finding ways to cope with identity issues and the added stresses that life after divorce brings, leave men vulnerable to high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. Men are also more likely to self-medicate during this difficult transition turning to alcohol and drugs as a substitute for seeking therapy. Men become accustomed to seeking advice from their wives when they are depressed, but women usually seek support from other sources, such as relatives and friends. When they no longer have their spouse to provide guidance and look out for their health, men tend to make poor decisions that are detrimental to their health.
Men do not properly grieve after a divorce, and they frequently rush into a new relationship to suppress their emotions and failures. This habit often results in troublesome unhealthy relationships where their new partner is faced with a lot of the burdens and baggage carried over from the man’s previous relationship. Women, on the other hand, take time to grieve and examine their emotions. They also take time before entering a new relationship, which makes future relationships stronger.
When a family breaks up, the courts look at what is best for the children. Joint custody is becoming more and more common, but in many instances, women get custody most of the time. Many courts relegate the father to weekend duty. As a result, men do not get to see their children on a daily basis, or even weekly, which can cause self-esteem issues. They may second guess if they are good fathers, if they are missing their children’s milestones, or worry that their mothers are saying negative things about them. This can make coping with divorce all the more difficult on men.
Divorce is one of the hardest and emotionally taxing times in a person’s life. Men all too often take a go-it-alone mindset when trying to deal with this difficult time. This tends to lead to men making poor decisions and having a much harder time coping with life after a divorce than women do. Seeking help from others and talking about this painful time is the best solution for anyone coming out of a divorce.
Modern Family Law’s team of experienced divorce lawyers takes a compassionate approach to the practice of family law. Using innovative technology to create an effective and efficient process for our clientele, our attorneys approach each case as a collective effort to find the best long-term solutions for each family. For more information please give us a call or fill out a short form online to sign up for a free consultation today! Let us make a positive difference in your life.
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